Your ad can be a piece of art if you are willing to spend some quality time contemplating your intentions and following these guidelines. Presentation is important, as it represents you in written form and the more organized, well thought out and sincere it is, the increase in your chances of attracting in what you seek. Please read through the following suggestions and utilize the ones which have the most power for you. Through this exercise, your are bringing empowerment to your selection of words, phrases, intentions, etc. Take each one into consideration, as they have been proven successful for many.

1. Create an attention grabbing, tactful and attractive headline for your profile, using the fewest words possible – brevity
    
2. Get clear on your intention for the relationship you are interested in attracting to you – why do you want to explore a new relationship – what characteristics would be used to describe the experience you seek – where does the value and meaning lie within this exploration for you – why is being in a relationship important and desirable to you? Once these questions are answered, you should be able to have much more clarity about your intention. Find the words to describe your intention to your future partner and begin the ad with this succinct statement from your heart.
    
3. We attract what we are and what we think, not necessarily what we want. Do a self-evaluation and determine what characteristics do you possess that you will attract to you and are they the most desirable to you. What characteristics do you wish to attract, but have not experienced for yourself thus far in your life? If you decided to include the aspects of yourself that you have not yet experienced within yourself, be ready to do work on yourself to attract this in with confidence and empowerment. Once this exercise is complete, list the important relationship characteristics that you want to communicate to your prospects.
    
4. Share what you love and are most passionate about in your life. You will strengthen the possibility of attracting someone who is likely to support these aspirations.
    
5. Share a Dream that you envision in your mind. This is communicating through the power of visualization techniques, that allow you to already begin having an experience of the possibilities.
    
6. Do some research on healthy relationships and partnerships. What aspects do they possess that you know well and what ones are you willing to explore openly with another person. Communicate these attractive aspects.
    
7. Show them what YOU want to know. Make a list of the most important things that you would like to know about a person before and describe some of these in your ad.
    
8. If you have a Sense Of Humor, then leverage it! Be cautious in sounding flippant language though.
    
9. Be realistic, honest and yourself in the approach. It is important to express your true self, within an eloquent and positive demeanor.
    
10. Write the way that you talk, so that your authenticity shines through and there is not a disconnect when further conversations take place that are not in alignment with your ad.
     
11. Write with simple language, avoiding the use of complex or long words and run on sentences.
     
12. Write the ad in conversation style, never in all upper case.
     
13. Be balanced in your approach, between your intentions and about yourself.
     
14. Add your own style of creativity and fun.
     
15. Avoid using acronyms or abbreviations such as SWF, DBM, etc. It is impersonal and can be confusing.
     
16. Make sure that you check your spelling and grammar and request that a friend read it over for you, before posting.
     
17. Have a good recent well-lit photograph

NEVER:

1. Never include your last name.
2. Never include your landline telephone number.
3. Never include your street address.
4. Never include your place of work.
5. Never mention any regular haunts, hangouts or places you frequent or travel to on a regular basis.
6. Never degenerate the Opposite Sex.
7. Never put your email address into the visible text of your profile.

Enjoy the process or gaining clarity and developing your ad. Intentions and thoughts are very powerful, so it will pay off to take the time initially for the most favorable conditions to arise. We wish you luck in your search and please check out our other guidelines for getting the most out of Spirit Mates.

The Personal Ads fill in Features

We strongly recommend you fill in the Personals sections called Basics, Current Location, Vitals and Lifestyle. Without at least these sections filled in it may be difficult to get a match. These sections can be filled in quickly.

The Spirituality and Personality, Interests and Dislikes and Intelligence Style sections can be done later, but they will add a lot to finding and making good matches. When you have finished this form, press "Submit". Then you can upload pictures to your profile. It will save your current information so that you can go back latter and edit or add to your personals ad.

Special Personal ads Tools and Features

In addition to the standard questions you see in many personals ads and matchmaking services, Spirit Mates has several personals tool features not normally present. These features such as Meyers Briggs personality type, your Spiral Level, Worldview type and the Style of Intelligence tools bring a useful new depth to understanding how well you will match up over time with another person in the Spirit Mates listings. They will take more work to learn how to use initially, but could save a lot of incompatibility time and effort latter as you will have a better starting idea of the personality type, consciousness type and worldview of the person you are considering contacting.

The Meyers Briggs personality tool - requires you to take a free online test where you will learn more about your personality type so you can select the appropriate category in the tool. To get a general description and the link for your free test Click here. Once you have determined your personality test to then learn about your most compatible personality type matches Click here.

• ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers
• ESTJ - The Guardians
• ISFJ - The Nurturers
• ESFJ - The Caregivers
• ISTP - The Mechanics
• ESTP - The Doers
• ESFP - The Performers
• ISFP - The Artists
• ENTJ - The Executives
• INTJ - The Scientists
• ENTP - The Visionaries
• INTP - The Thinkers
• ENFJ - The Givers
• INFJ - The Protectors
• ENFP - The Inspirers
• INFP - The Idealists

The Spiral level tool - requires you to learn about the Spiral consciousness levels of human development so you can select the appropriate category in the tool. To get a general description of these consciousness levels Click here first.

Once you read this we recommend you go to the beautiful additional explanatory graphic by Clicking here. By placing your mouse over the different levels of Spiral consciousness you will learn additional qualities and characteristics of each level and what they value. From this you should be able to quickly see what spiral consciousness levels will be a good match for you. If you want to learn even more we suggest this book, Spiral Dynamics .

The Intelligence Style tool - requires no reading. It helps you see your strengths and weaknesses in the 8 different types of intelligence. Using it is easy. From highest to lowest rate your eight different types of Intelligence in the list of questions. (#8 would be your strongest area, #1 would be your weakest.)

The Worldview selection tool - There are several possible descriptions of the following worldviews Traditional, Modern, Postmodern, Integral and Mystical. There is even is a Pre-modern world view that is not likely to be selected often by individuals using the internet. For the purposes of selecting one of the given options above to describe your current worldview or to understand someone else’s worldview, use the synthesis of various descriptions provided below.

Keep in mind that as an individual evolves they integrate the best and most workable of the earlier worldviews into their later worldviews. A good indicator of where your current worldview is focused is often what the individual is dominantly seeking out at this time and how they are dealing with such a worldview.

Pre-modern:

Worldview based on biological urges/drives; physical senses dictate the state of being. The world is seen as a threatening and full of mysterious powers, spirit beings which must be placated and appeased. Pre-modern starts to make its transition toward traditional with the worldview life is like a jungle where the tough and strong prevail while the weak serve; nature is an adversary.

What is sought out is:
Survival, biogenic needs satisfaction, reproduction, safety/security, protection from harm and family bonds. Pre-modern starts to make its transition towards traditional with power/action, asserting self to dominate others and control is sought out.

How individuals might deal with such a worldview:
As natural instincts and reflexes direct and automatic existence and according to tradition and ritual ways of group; tribal; animistic. Pre-modern starts to make its transition toward traditional with an awakening of an egocentric self determined to break the shackles of the family or tribe and become a powerful individual asserting self for dominance, conquest, and power; exploitive.

- Back to Worldview selection tool -

Traditional:

Life is controlled by a Higher Power that punishes evil and eventually rewards good works and right living.

What is sought out is:
Stability/order, obedience to earn later reward and meaning.

How individuals might deal with such a worldview:
Obediently as higher authority and rules direct; absolutist; conforming.

- Back to Worldview selection tool -

Modern:

Life is full of resources to develop and opportunities to make things better and bring prosperity.

What is sought out is:
Opportunity/success, competing to achieve results and influence.

How individuals might deal with such a worldview:
Pragmatically to achieve results and get ahead; multiplistic; achievist.

- Back to Worldview selection tool -

Postmodern:

The world is the habitat wherein humanity can find love and purposes through affiliation and sharing.

What is sought out is:
Harmony/love, joining together for mutual growth and awareness.

How individuals might deal with such a worldview:
Responds to human needs; affiliative; relativistic; situational.

- Back to Worldview selection tool -

Integral:

The integral worldview is a new worldview currently being popularized by the books of the philosopher Ken Wilbur. It is a new meaning-making worldview that allows one to organize and integrate the research findings and insights of a great number of disciplines. These include the natural sciences (physics, chemistry, biology, neurology, ecology) as well as psychology, philosophy, sociology, anthropology, business, politics, art, ethics, religion, and spirituality.

For more information on some of the other key principles of the emerging integral worldview we strongly suggest reading A Brief History of Everything by Ken Wilbur

What is sought out is:
Independence/self-worth, fitting a living system and knowing.

How individuals might deal with such a worldview:
Build functional niche to do what one chooses; existential; systemic.

- Back to Worldview selection tool -

Mystical:

The world is a delicately balanced system of interlocking forces currently in jeopardy in human hands. Mystical worldviews often are derived from cumulative, profound and transformative direct spiritual experiences and/or from cumulative, deep-pattern understandings of the physical and social sciences. Individuals with mystical worldviews are often active co-creators of a better world for all yet paradoxically do not seek ego status or personal gain for doing so. They are often individuals of a deep rational and balanced faith.

What is sought out is:
Global community/life force, survival of Earth and consciousness.

How individuals might deal with such a worldview:
Experiential to join with other like thinkers; holistic; transpersonal.

- Back to Worldview selection tool -

Enjoy the process or gaining clarity and developing your ad. Intentions and thoughts are very powerful, so it will pay off to take the time initially for the most favorable conditions to arise. We wish you luck in your search and please check out our other guidelines for getting the most out of Spirit Mates.

Further Reading:

To use Spirit Mates, you have to Register - for free - and Log In.

You will be able to immediately search and view photos and brief summaries of the personal profiles listed in Spirit Mates, but to see a full profile or contact anyone listed in the profiles using our secure and confidential internal email system you will need to Register and Log In. Registering is FREE, fast and easy.

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